“I’m not sweet.” This is how I greeted my bridal gown consultant. “Nor am I a princess. Let’s stay away from bows, ruffles, rosettes, and any other frippery that smacks of girlish cuteness. Do you have anything in a slimming black pinstripe?”

Women are expected to change their names and their tax information, their social security cards and drivers' licenses. We change our stationery and monograms and bank accounts. It return, we get someone to turn to and say, "My God! There's a serial killer in the house. Do something!"

So this morning, instead of a mocha with a triple shot of espresso, I started the day with a bracing pot of peppermint tea. I may have sworn at my editor, but I don't remember. I've eaten spinach, carrots, almond butter (tasty but a poor substitute), sweet potatoes and some other unsatisfying materials that did not come from a cow. I guess I feel lighter, but I think that's dizziness from discontent, starvation and ill will.

Why is it that when I'm planning a trip, I plan it with someone else's personality?

So you want to get married in Charleston. Well, take it from a native…